I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's blow job season.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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