question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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