He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
