Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
