My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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