DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
