Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
