This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
