so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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