that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
