ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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