She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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