Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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