the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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