Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
