I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I cockslap morals
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
