I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
