have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
cat food counts as protein by the way
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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