alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
