Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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