No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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