Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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