No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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