dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
