idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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