that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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