You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
