I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
