Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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