areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
