why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
