Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

She kept screaming "best case scenario"

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(425): View more from Washington

I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt

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(207): View more from Maine

It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today

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(513): View more from Ohio

No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder

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