Im at strip club and am horny
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
