i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
