i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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