so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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