im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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