You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
