Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Come see our sink grown plant.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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