Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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