If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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