Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got chris browned last night
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
