The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
