Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
