Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
