apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
