Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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