I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
wow bdsm is so cute
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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