Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
