i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
