I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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