This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
