the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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